My biggest “conscious” project so far has been my AS Media Studies blog. It was created with a lot of love and consistent effort, and I’m truly proud of what my team and I accomplished. Here’s the final cut of our film opening, “Nemor”.
It was my first time contributing to such a big project, and honestly, it was an experience like no other. Raw and honest, built on just a crumble of Media Studies theory and a whole lot of passion for creating. I was lucky enough to share this journey with two of my best friends, who are just as (if not more) obsessed with this subject as I am.
Our idea for Nemor was born in the very first week of Media Studies, out of an “OMG, hear this out” kind of moment. It was already so vivid and ready to take shape that theory didn’t come first. The story did. Over time, it naturally built itself up through the project. Was it “professional”? Probably not. It was ours.
The genre we went with was horror, which felt like the obvious choice since all of us are fans of that “on the edge” feeling.
For mise-en-scène, we leaned into horror conventions: cold lighting and snow to amplify a sense of distress, specific props like tarot deck to ground it in the genre, and a soundtrack (composed by me) designed to disturb the audience. Our preferred reading was for the viewer to feel unsettled, caught between sound, visuals, and non-linear narrative.
We were especially excited to play with non-linear storytelling, which we thought would resonate with contemporary audiences — something Todorov mentioned his theory. For me, that idea clicked instantly, because my favorite films like “Inception” and “***** ****” use that exact method. It suddenly made sense why I’d always been drawn to them without even realizing it.
My favorite part of the whole project was definitely composing the music. It was pure chaos. Sudden, unplanned, but somehow it all came together and made perfect sense. I had about 20 minutes to use the grand piano at the Hungarian school before it was taken away, so I had to move FAST. The synchronization happened right there too, on the spot. A random pen I found on the ground and my wrist were enough to scribble down the “idea.”
And you know what? It worked. Just like that. I love how life seems to fall into place when I throw in a mix of spontaneity and passion. Yes, that moment will always be my favorite.
As much as I love chaos, this year I’m going to try to make things a little clearer for you and easier for me. Not because I want to, but because maybe this time I’ll finally learn what consistency feels like. (probably not).
Anyways, here’s THE “Nemor”.
Outside of school projects, I used to film little music videos of myself covering my favorite songs. They were just for fun, personal growth, and my singing portfolio. I get a bit shy about them now because I was pretty young back then. This one’s a cover of Billie Eilish’s idontwannabeyouanymore. I was only 11 and didn’t know a word of English, so I basically memorized the sounds and tried to copy her accent.
P.S. I obviously understood what the song was about. Back then, it was pretty common for people to comment that my song choices didn’t “match” my age or pre-judged level of understanding. But the thing is, no one ever told me what to sing. It was always my choice and I understood it in my own way, as much as an 11-year-old with a translator could. To be honest, watching it now honestly cracks me up. Here it is anyway jaja.
Here’s my very first YouTube video, which pretty much met the same fate. I was around 9 years old. The song is called Hope, an elegy about a love that couldn’t last forever but still left behind beautiful memories. I remember being completely in love with this song, even though I got a lot of judgment for choosing it. At this point controversy might as well be my second name.
I was definitely a bit of a strange kid growing up. While other children were running around the playground, my favorite spot was the “mom bench,” sitting next to the parents while they talked about life. I can clearly remember sitting there, ears wide open, soaking in every word and analyzing it like it was the most important thing ever. As an early overthinker, I poured a lot of “feel & thought” into my art which probably explains some of the decisions I’ve made up to this day… I want to believe that it counts as a “Portfolio” material.