I’m in a strange patch in life and lately, I’ve been listening to a lot of her music. “The Other Woman” is one of my favorite pieces of her art and is often understood as a song about betrayal, longing, and heartbreak… the pain of being a secondary presence in someone else’s life. But for me, it carries a different, more personal meaning.
I’ve been in Romania for almost four years, and I still cannot call this place “home.” I don’t feel it.
When I go back to Odesa, it is nothing like I remember. Covered in sadness and the scars of war. People I loved are gone; the essence of that place has changed completely. Every time I return, I can’t sleep for days. I cannot call it home either.
For years, I’ve been desperate for a sense of belonging. I’ve tried to find it in people, in their own understanding, in their sense of home. It still hasn’t been resonating with me. I have no home. But I have all in life to find it.
For me, “The Other Woman” is about the cycle of trying to recognize my hometown in what remains of it, and the disappointment in the hollowness that follows. It is about the inevitable loneliness that trails me, the sense of derealization, and the question: When will I feel that I belong somewhere? Even for a moment.
Since I am a so-called musician, for the final project I plan to record a cover of this song. Piano, voice, everything. Bringing it to life myself will make this project even more personal I suppose.